Coworker1 "I could be your granddaddy. Is your grandma single?" Coworker2 "Actually my grandmother is dead." Me "Well, is she single?" Coworker2 "No, she's actually buried next to her husband." Me "Oh... well uhh... 'Till Death Do Us Part' am I right?" — — — — — — — — — — Normally that's not … Continue reading How much offensive shit can I get away with at work?
It was our first day in Croatia, and our tour itinerary for the whole extended weekend contained the following items: (1) Get hammered on the beach. (2) ...That was basically it. We aren't stressful travelers. Our first order of business was to get some sunblock. We aren't stupid. It was the middle of the summer, … Continue reading Croatian Vacation with a side of sunblock that didn’t work
I got into my usual variety of shenanigans on a ski trip I took with three friends while I was living in Germany: Making fun of someone's glove straps and then losing my gloves about 20 minutes laterBurping loudly in front of attractive girls90s songs singalongsAccidentally ordering from the kids menu because I can't read … Continue reading Getting chased down a ski mountain by a group of large German men
It was me and two young soldiers, walking along in some neighborhood. They were new to the army, I think about 20 years old or so. [Yes I am in the navy; I was working at a joint command.] We were in a country where legally we weren't supposed to be drinking at all, on … Continue reading I am such a fucking role model